French to English: Business Letters, Part 2

In my last blog, I gave examples of closing sentences in French business letters which can't be translated into English literally.

Today, I'd like to mention some opening lines commonly used in French business correspondence.  I'm afraid you won't see anything that closely resembles "Hey Dude".  We're talking business letters, remember? 

Occasionally, however, when two business people happen to be also good friends or golf buddies, the "Cher Monsieur" is crossed out manually, and replaced by "Salut Jean" or "Mon Cher Jean." 

This is the same practice in English.  At least in the companies I worked, it was customary for my boss to strike out the "Dear Mr. Jones" to replace it with a more personal greeting like "Dear John."

I'll translate a handful of French letter opening lines into English and will dispense with the table format this time.

French:  En réponse a votre lettre du 8 juillet 2008...
English:  In response to your letter of July 8, 2008...

French:  À la suite de l'annonce publié dans le journal...
English:  Following the announcement published in the paper...

French:  Nous avons reçu votre candidature pour le poste d'adjointe administrative...
English:  We received your application for the position of administrative assistant...

French:  C'est avec grand plaisir que nous avons appris votre nomination...
English:  It gave us great pleasure to learn of your appointment...Alternately, you can also translate this as: We were delighted to hear of your appointment...

French:  C'est avec regret que nous vous faisons part de...
English:  We regret to inform you that...

French:  Nous sommes actuellement dans l'impossibilité de...
English:  It is presently impossible for us to...

French:  Nous avons pris connaissance du document que vous nous avez fait parvenir...
English:  We received the document you have sent us...

When I started my translation courses at McGill University, I was afraid to "deviate" from the French and fell into the trap of translating literally.  The outcome left much to be desired. When you're starting out as a translator, you may feel this same hesitation.  Go with your instincts.  Ask:  does this sentence sound awkward?  Can this sentence be further improved without altering the meaning of the original?

My advice is to translate sentences in business letters the way they're normally written in English.  Let's take the last example above.  "Nous avons pris connaissance du document que vous nous avez fait parvenir." 

The phrase "pris connaissance" (infinitive:  prendre connaissance) is literally "to recognize" or "to learn about."  However, we can't begin a formal business letter by saying that "we recognize the document" or "we learned about your document."

The correct translation would be:  "We read the document you sent us."  But if I were to translate that, I would write it this way:  "Thank you for sending the document which we have read."

Given that English tends to use fewer words, try to be as brief as possible while still reflecting the essence of the original - or source - language.

Note:  "Faire parvenir" - this is a phrase you will encounter often in French correspondence.  It means "to send."  In less formal correspondence like in e-mails, the French would simply say "envoyer" or "transmettre" as in "envoyer une lettre à quelqun (to send somebody a letter), or "je peux te transmettre les documents" (I can transmit the documents to you). 

Pick up a book that contains examples of French business letters and try translating them for fun!

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